BACHELORS AT THEIR BEST

You’ve come to the right place for tips and tricks to make your single lifestyle more elevated, taking you out of the cheap seats and making you a VIP Bachelor.

Visit the various postings and learn about the toys, techniques and technology that will put you on the road to top shelf  BACHELOR LIVING.

INTRODUCING YOUR HOST

Fortunately for your blog host, he has remained a bachelor all of his life. (Having represented men in some 400 divorces in New York during his law career might have something to do with that).

Your host for the past ten years has been a frequent article contributor to one of the world’s largest and best known James Bond Lifestyle sites, and has lived or traveled in Germany, Denmark, Costa Rica, Korea, Singapore, the Bahamas and Mexico.

In this VIP BACHELOR CLUB, there are no lap dances, just solid advice to upgrade your lifestyle to where you want it to be.

DISCLOSURE

I am an affiliate of Bluehost, Ties.com, Famous Smoke Shop, Amazon and others. Where image or text links take you to an affiliate, this will be clearly indicated in the post where such links exist. Where you see the word “affiliate” in the caption of an image, that means I have a relationship with that vendor wherein I receive a commission from purchases made from this site. Side bar ads are from affiliates. This site is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Using the available products and services through this site does not cost you anything more, but I get a small commission from my affiliate relationships .  This site does not collect personal data from visitors at this time.

CHECK THE CATEGORIES  FOR ARTICLES YOU’LL DIG

DIVORCED? DON’T FORGET TO PICK UP YOUR COPY OF 

THE BORN AGAIN BACHELOR’S BIBLE

THE BORN AGAIN BACHELOR'S BIBLE by [MANDELBAUM, W. ADAM]
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A guide for the newly minted or the experienced divorced man who wants to stay that way. Learn how to survive and thrive as a born again bachelor, with tips and tricks from a bachelor lawyer. Any divorced man can benefit from the advice given. Get it today. 

NOW ON WITH THE SHOW…

IN THE MOOD TO RANT

BACHELORS:

THE RICHEST BITCH IN BABYLON

One of those old chestnuts of financial advice was George Samuel Clason’s THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON, dispensed via allegedly ancient parables.  Supposedly, great financial advice to help you succeed with money  matters. Don’t know, never read it, I got mine, so I don’t give a fuck.

Well, here I am going to offer some more modern financial advice to help you succeed and stay successful when it comes to money matters.  Ready?

Image result for public domain poor man
      STAY RICH STAY SINGLE

DO NOT EVER GET MARRIED.  DO NOT EVER IMPREGNATE A WOMAN.

Because if you do, you will eventually make her, the richest bitch in Babylon, Long Island, or the functional equivalent wherever you are. (Judging by my site statistics half of you are coming from China for some unknown reason, so 你好 to  you guys).

I, your humble host, have never been married, nor have I spoiled the gene pool by procreating.  I have however, handled hundreds of divorces and family court cases in the wonderful state of New York, as an attorney concentrating on men’s rights.  (Yes, they actually do–or at least can–exist).

And you know what?  That shaft between your legs ain’t nothing compared to the financial shaft you are going to get when you have to support an ex-wife and your visit–on–the–weekends kids.

So, in the words of that mental midget, former first lady Nancy Regan who at least got one thing in her life right, (other than acting in Donovan’s Brain), DON’T SAY “I DO”,

‘JUST SAY NO’

You will thank me for it, and your wallet will thank you.

ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION

BACHELORS:

THUNDERBALL ADVICE

Here’s an article I wrote years ago for jamesbondlifestyle.com slightly modified for this blog.  I hope you enjoy it. (In case you never read the book or saw the movie, Domino is the sister of a NATO Pilot murdered by the bad guys).  Not too much of a spoiler.

THE BOND BRAIN–THUNDERBALL

Here’s the quote from a conversation Bond has with Domino during dinner:“I make up my own mind about men and women. What’s the good of other people’s opinions?”

Each one of us has unique experiences. Each one of us has a different degree of intelligence, tolerance, intolerance, passion, or cold bloodedness.  Given the uniqueness of our makeup, Bond’s advice makes a great deal of sense. Make up your own mind, and don’t be overly influenced by the opinions of others.

Perhaps you are in sales.  Other salespeople have opined that Company X is a bad prospect, or a tough sale, or some other negative thing.  Yet, the unique you may feel differently, and obtain a different result than that predicted by your peers.

With respect to potential romantic partners, same thing.  One man’s beauty is another man’s stimulus to a lifetime of celibacy.  One man may like the adventurous type, and another the homebody. Neither are wrong. Neither are right.  It is an individual taste matter, and as long as you are acting in accordance with your own unique set of parameters, you are doing fine.

There are of course times when other people’s opinions do count.  Politics for example.  Here we can count on them usually being wrong.  Consumer marketing is another arena where the opinions of others are paramount.  What does that lead to?  Budweiser beer and McDonalds.  Yecch!

Thunderball (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Vinyl LP record]
                 amazon affiliate
So whether it’s business, booze or your choice of bordello, keep your own counsel, and remember the above words of  Bond. READ THE BOOK, CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW LEFT:  Get the Soundtrack click on the image right:

 

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LONG DAYS JOURNAL

BACHELORS:

YOUR JOURNEY, YOUR JOURNAL

Gentlemen, the shortest pencil is better than the longest memory, and to remember the days and nights of your life, to learn from your past experiences accurately remembered, there is no handier tool than a journal.

Daily entries will help keep you on track, and periodic review of those entries will enlighten you as to how far you’ve come, or how far you haven’t.  Your journal can serve as a motivator, keeping you true to the promises you’ve made to yourself, and it can serve as the basis of your future memoir, when you have become a famous VIP Bachelor.

When your day hasn’t gone as well as hoped for, it can help to review your journal, and remember all of those days when your life went “according to Hoyle.”  When your day flowed like a river, it can also help to review your journal to remind you that sometimes that river can be a swamp.

The point is, a journal not only helps you record your journey, it helps you on your way to that journey’s end.

So if you want to do things right when your write, you will want to consider the type of journal below.  Leather, classy, yet inexpensive.  Click on it and explore the various choices for your journal.

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MAN OF LETTERS

BACHELORS:

BRINGING BACK FINE STATIONERY TO THE VIP BACHELOR

Gentlemen, sometimes analog is just plain better–classier.  When it comes to adding mass to a missive, there isn’t anything compared to having your own imprinted stationery, for sending your thoughts…dare we say it…by snail mail.

There are occasions in life, and in death, when a simple email just won’t do.  A thank you note for attending a wedding, a condolence note for a friend who has lost a loved one, a jotting of appreciation for a business referral.  Gents, you are going to need to write it out the old fashioned way, and you might as well do it in a manner befitting a VIP Bachelor.

No, don’t scribble something on your copy paper with a fifty cent stick pen.  If it’s worth doing “write” it’s worth doing right, and fine paper and a fountain pen are the sine qua non for classy and classic communications.

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So check out the goodies below, Crane papers and Cross pens. The combination makes for the write stuff.

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BUDDY BONDING

BACHELORS:

GET BOND WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR FRIENDS

Gentlemen, what follows is another James Bond related article originally written by yours truly and posted on jamesbondlifestyle.com

Image result for james bond
       CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

 One of the things about James Bond is he is careful. Careful about what he eats, drinks, smokes, and also about the people he befriends.  So should you be.

     There’s more to a Bond Lifestyle than dressing the part and collecting action figures.  There is the actual life in the lifestyle, and a big part of one’s life are those with whom one associates. Allies. pals, buddies.  Both male and female created he them.

     So take a look at your list of “friends.”  Do they measure up to Bond requirements?  Creative, resourceful, with leadership ability, useful and entertaining?  If not, here is a simple suggestion. Dump them as politely and as quickly as possible.

     Now that might sound exploitative, cruel, nasty, self-serving. Okay, and your point?  We are talking about James Bond, not Barney the purple dinosaur.  Selectivity in friends is even more important than selectivity in wines.  Your time is valuable, you only get twenty three hours and fifty six minutes in a day.  Why spend that time with the useless and unworthy?

     In You Only Live Twice (book) Bond buddies up with Dikko Henderson, who not only is a great drinking buddy, but knows the ins and outs of the Japanese scene in which Bond finds himself. You want friends like Dikko. Fun and with inside knowledge of the situations in which you may find yourself. 

     Bond then befriends Tiger Tanaka, shrewd, head of Japanese Intelligence, and again an entertaining cultured man.  So make sure you put a Tiger Tanaka type in your friendship tank.

     Now sometimes, interesting friends can put you in interesting situations.  In OHMSS, Bond is befriended by Marc Ange Draco.  Cultured, and the head of the Union Corse.  Your author has a friend that was once head of the New York equivalent, and besides a lot of interesting adventures, I had the pleasure of being under FBI surveillance for a time.  So sometimes, having Bond type friends can have its more challenging side. (Come to think of it, Bond was quite often under surveillance too).

     Have the right friends in your career also.  You want a Felix Leiter, not a Felix the Cat. The right friends in your line can be of significant use if you are looking for a new job, or a better one.

     So, it’s time to be more selective about your associates.  Keep those that measure up, and say sayonara to those who don’t only really live once.

If you are a true fan of Bond, you are going to want this Blu-Ray collection of the films. 24 Movies for your entertainment and edification.  Get your license to thrill below:

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BECOMING BOND

BACHELORS:

THE STAGES OF BOND LIFE

Gentlemen:  What follows is an article of mine that originally appeared on the James Bond Lifestyle  site and is offered here for your education and entertainment.

THE STAGES OF BOND LIFE

Image result for james bond

When we read the Fleming novels, or watch the movies, we get the idea of a 007 somewhere between his late thirties and early forties—depending on which book we read or movie we see.  We might say that there is a special decade to be Bond at his best—between thirty five and forty five.

    Of course, any breakdown of years is going to be somewhat arbitrary and capricious, but what’s wrong with that?  Life is arbitrary and capricious, and since we are alive…well? So let’s kick some ideas around about what we should be doing before and after the magical Bond Decade in our life.

     After all, this site has readers of all ages enjoying the Bond Lifestyle—or hoping to.

     First, let’s wait until after puberty is well set in, because during that time we have enough to worry about.  Let’s take it up from our later high school years (or whatever high school is called in the particular country you happen to be living in).

     What do you do when you are a kid planning to live the Bond Lifestyle?  You might want to study foreign languages in school, mainly Western European and if offered, one of the Far Eastern varieties.  Being multi-lingual can only help you in later years, and will definitely come in handy for your Bond Decade.   Additionally, for many people, it is easier to learn a new tongue when you are young.

     Besides foreign language study, you might want to get rather fluent in English (assuming that is your indigenous lingo), because being able to express yourself well, is a necessity of wit and wisdom, and Bond is both witty and wise.  He also spoke English as a first language.

    On the physical side of your later teen years, you might want to study some kind of martial art, whether it is participation in a school wrestling, boxing or fencing team, or the more exotic stuff you may find in a professional dojo.  You also want to learn to swim.  If your school has a rifle or pistol team, join it.

     Besides being a smart guy, Bond was a tough guy, skilled in combat, and when you are young, you heal oh so much faster.

     After high school, you should go on to university, assuming that you are smart enough and there is money enough.  You can continue with foreign languages, perhaps political history, or some Bond related subjects.  You also continue with your physical training.

     As far as your personal appearance in your young years, being neat and well groomed will be sufficient.  You will look like a supreme dork tooling around campus in a tuxedo. Also regardless of your particular “uniform” in these formative years, learn to buy quality, be just a slight step up from your contemporaries.  Not enough to appear snobbish, but just enough for the ladies to notice the difference.

     Of course, if you really want to be like Bond, you should engage in some military service, as long as you don’t mind risking life and limb for some multinational energy company, or are delusional enough to be patriotic.

     But even if you don’t have the bars and scars that may come from uniformed service, if you have studied your martial arts like a good boy who would be Bond, you still get props and the tools you will need.

     As far as vices in your younger years, by all means smoke and drink.  (Now is the ideal time to abuse your health).  But don’t do the Marlboro and Budweiser existence.  That’s for factory workers and people who will be staying in their parents’ basements for the rest of their earthly existence.

     No, smoke some of the better international brands.  Gitanes, Galouises, British brands. Extra  points for Turkish cigarettes.  For beer?  Again, stay away from American crap, (okay maybe Miller High Life if you remember that Bond sinned this way occasionally, but really?  Really?) Red Stripe from Jamaica, Becks or almost anything from Deutschland, Singha from Thailand, Kirin from Japan, you get the idea.

     (The above are just examples, certainly not exclusive recommendations).

     So by the time you are about twenty five or so, you are well groomed, well spoken, drinking and smoking the good stuff, and hopefully can handle yourself when attacked by Jaws.  Now it’s time for the next stage of Bond Life, from twenty five to thirty five.

     One obvious caveat during these years we have spoken of is do not get married, do not have children, and don’t get an STD.  It will definitely put a damper on your Bond Decade.

     Now you can start dressing more upscale, getting into some kind of interesting line of work, and experiencing foreign women.  You improve your appearance, your income, your experience.  You also travel as much as possible given the limitations of time and pocket.

    You drive the best car you can afford, you buy the best clothes you can afford, and you especially see to it that your income is going to keep up with your soon to be lifestyle.  Ain’t easy, but this is Bond we are talking about, not Bozo the clown.

     So after all this preparation, one day you turn thirty five. Time to really play. Perhaps you have obtained the type of employment that is directly related to political and intelligence matters. Bravo.  Maybe law enforcement.  At least you have obtained the type of employment that enables you to travel on the company dime and necessitates that you look your best.

     Now you become more of the part.  You read the better international newspapers, you are involved in whatever manner open to you in political and international events.  You are getting the right shirts suits and shoes, and you are staying in shape to merit them.

     At this time of life many men are thinking of wife and family. Not for you, because you never catch Bond behind a stroller, or on line at a supermarket.  Stay single if you would be an international man of mystery.  Get married if you prefer misery.

     Better hotels for you, and stake out the hotel bars for those traveling women with nothing better to do than to sleep with a sophisticated guy like you.  Drive one of the Bond type cars, even if it is in the lower range of the brand.  Travel first class or as close as you can to first class.

     Learn your wines if you haven’t already done so, learn to appreciate the world’s great spirits, smoke premium cigars, and don’t date dogs.  You are in your prime Bond decade and that requires daily planning to live the lifestyle as close as possible for you.

     The memories you make in your Bond Decade should keep you warm and cozy as you spend the last years of your life in a nursing home—assuming by then you can remember anything.

    Avoid self doubt, avoid jealousy, avoid nasty drugs that will kill you.  Cultivate some decent restaurants where you get VIP treatment.  You should be on a first name basis with your tailor, your bootmaker, your sommelier.

     If you are following these directions, the best part of Bond life, the upscale women, should come easy to you.  I mean just go to a shopping mall and look at your competition.  Of course, you don’t do anything stupid like use the phrase “Vodka Martini, Shaken not Stirred,” or like some idiots I have seen, hint to the ladies that you are soon going on a secret mission.

     Design your life for you Bond decade, and after it is past, what do you do?  You read my article on Autumn Bonding,  found here

     Getting past the bit of tongue and cheek above, the whole point is that lifestyle design begins early, in sensible stages, and like great music builds up to a wonderful climax, then gradually tapers down to a fine finish.

     Go thou and do likewise.

James Bond 007 Eau De Toilette Spray for Men, 2.5 Ounce
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Hope you liked the article, now here’s something you will also like if you want to smell as good as you look:

GO FOR BAROQUE

BACHELORS:

THE BENEFITS FOR BACHELORS OF CLASSICAL MUSIC

As VIP Bachelors, we are always on the look out, (or in this case, the listen in) for tips, tricks and tools that can enhance our performance, both mentally and physically.

Gentlemen, I submit for your approval, the wonderful world of classical music.  It can provide a bevy of benefits to the bachelor seeking to improve his life, his mind, and his health.

Study after study has shown that this type of tune can lower your blood pressure, raise your IQ, increase your productivity and decrease your anxiety.

It can help you sleep, reduce your pain, and Baroque  music can aid you in concentrating on your studies or work.

So when you are thinking about improving your thinking, or the idea of lowering your blood pressure gets it up for you, it’s time to explore the world of classical music.

There’s a ton of it out there, and below is a good place to start. Read up on the subject with Music to Your Ears: An Introduction to Classical Music

An Introduction to Mozart & Beethoven
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To delight your ears, click on the image right:

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TWIST AND SPROUT

BACHELORS:

THE POWER TWISTER IS OLD SCHOOL EXERCISE THAT WORKS

For a great upper body workout, without a trip to the gym, and without paying exorbitant membership fees for that gym, may I present to you gentlemen, the old reliable Power Twister.

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            OLD SCHOOL MAKES A NEW YOU

Spring is coming up, and you want to spring into developing your physique, with the Power Twister, which essentially, is one Hell of a big spring.

Useful for both isotonic and isometric contraction work, the Power Twister will put muscle on your arms, chest and shoulders, and make you look like one Heck of a VIP Bachelor in your suits and casual shirts.

It will also make you a lot stronger.  It hardly takes up any space, but after regular use, your muscles will be taking up a lot more space.  You might have to get your jackets and shirts custom made to accommodate the growth you will experience in your upper body, and wouldn’t that make you smile?

So for both muscle growth, and money savings, seriously consider the Power Twister.  It comes in a variety of tensions to help you grow stronger and more muscular.  Women will take notice!

Okay, now that you are thinking about getting one, here’s a link or click on the image below:

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                           AMAZON AFFILIATE

For instructions on how to use this wonderful old school piece of exercise equipment click here:

WARM HANDS

BACHELORS:

UNUSUAL COLOR DRESS GLOVES

Gentlemen, it is the freezin’ season, and you want to keep your head and your hands warm.  For hands, there are gloves of course, and for VIP Bachelors there are dress gloves.

Most dress gloves are brown or black, and these are great, but for the bachelor with a black belt in style, there are more choices, more unusual colors to make him stand out in a Winter wonderland.

Most things in Winter are gray black and white, so add a little “Spring” to your hands with these green dress gloves

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          Green amazon affiliate

So, when you are warming things up, and getting ready to go out there in that cold, cold world, think about donning these gloves below on your digits. They are available from my amazon affiliate.  A beautiful warm Cognac, and a fiery red.  Click on these beauties:

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Red from amazon affiliate

 

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Cognac from amazon affiliate

A BLURB ON BOURBON

BACHELORS:

MUST BOURBON COME FROM KENTUCKY?

One of the finer bachelor things in life is a rock glass filled with bourbon and ice.  The liquid’s color, the aroma, the taste, and of course the wonderful psychological effect of drinking sufficient (or more than sufficient) quantities of this nectar of the corn gods is a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Maybe it would be better phrased, “a consuming devoutly to be wished,” because that’s what it’s for…drinking.

Now, as with all other things, pleasurable or otherwise, there is a law that controls bourbon Since you’re all dying to know what that might be, let’s take a gander at the Code of Federal Regulations at 27 CFR 5.22 (b)(1)(i) :

“Bourbon whisky is whisky produced not exceeding 160° proof from a fermented mash of not less than 51 percent corn and stored at not more than 125° proof in charred new oak containers.”

It has to be made in the US but not necessarily Kentucky, (although most is, and certain types of bourbon must be made there). It cannot contain any additives.

If it’s called “Straight Bourbon” then it must come from Kentucky. 

Truthfully, from many decades of drinking experience, I can attest under oath, (and under oak), that not only does “the sun shine bright on my old Kentucky home,” but it’s the best place to get your bourbon from.  They’ve had a lot of practice in them thar hills.

So if you are a fortunate VIP Bachelor, and live somewhere that has access to this nectar of the corn gods, get it and drink up.  There are many fine makes of Bourbon, and truth be told, even the rotgut shit ain’t all that bad.

Now, you being a gentleman, will drink responsibly, (whatever the fuck that means…oh yeah, don’t drive drunk and don’t punch people, places and things), and you will also have your hooch in the appropriate glass with a lot of VIP Bachelor class.

So here is a suggestion to help your ingestion of that wonderful liquid the world has come to call “Bourbon.”  Please to click on the image below:

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Look at that beauty.  Can’t you just see how nice that will look next to your cigar on the side table by your special chair?  Can’t you feel how good it will feel,  that nectar cascading from the glass and sliding over your tongue, and into your nervous system so you won’t be so nervous anymore?  Take the plunge gentleman, and drink up!