SINGLE SENIOR

The other day I was talking to an acquaintance, who is a very well preserved seventy one.  He is in great shape physically, but admits to occasional bouts of depression…age related.

For the senior bachelor, some adjustment to this time of life is required, but it needn’t be depressing, and if done properly, can be most enjoyable.

Of course, you relationship with much younger women is only going to be some form of pay for play, if that’s what you want. If you aren’t turned on by women in your age group, that’s understandable. We are not programmed to be attracted to wrinkles, cellulite, and sagging flesh. Don’t beat yourself up for obeying evolution.

You didn’t create it.

Speaking of sagging flesh and all, the senior bachelor might not exactly be the Tarzan he once was. What to do?

One: Exercise in an age appropriate way.  One great resistance tool is the good old Bullworker.   

amazon affiliate link. you pay the same, I get a small commission when you buy this Bullworker.

Isometrics. Done properly, it is safe and effective. Much cheaper than gym membership, and you are less likely to mess yourself up.

Two: When out in public, dress sharp. Make sure your clothes fit, and make sure they are a cut above what the average schlump in your neighborhood is wearing. Take a look at the online offerings at Joseph A. Bank, and Paul Fredrick.

Going to the supermarket? Dress up.  Most others won’t be looking good. You, however, will be admired by the better class of women feeling the melons, and the checkout clerk will be more careful with your groceries when packing.

One of the cool things about being a senior bachelor is we look good in hats.  Wear one that is situation and weather appropriate.  It lends a certain air of authority.

Three: Frequent age appropriate watering holes. You don’t want to be the oldest man in the crowd, you just want to be the sharpest.  Piano bars are a good venue, so are the bars at the better types of restaurants.

Happy hour is the best time to go.

Four: Keep your residence looking Presidential. Neat, organized, with carefully chosen art on the walls, and the type of furniture that spells out class.

Work on all of the above, and not only will you be kept busy, you’ll feel better, look better, and be happy with your stage of bachelor living.

THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR

One of the all time great cinematic inspirations for the bachelor and the bachelor lifestyle, is the 1968 movie version of

THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR

amazon affiliate, you pay no more, I get a small commission when you buy this classic movie.

Steve McQueen, the king of cool, plays the rich playboy bachelor with a taste for bank robbery, and Faye Dunaway plays the insurance investigator out to get him.  Their cat and mouse game turns them into lovers, but she still is out to get her man, and not in a matrimonial way.

This is the version to see.  The 1999 version with Pierce Brosnan and a rather ugly woman as the insurance investigator, does not rate, IMHO.

Out of the Closet

One of the traits of a VIP is they don’t waste time.  They dwell in a neat and organized environment that enhances their lifestyle.

One of the exercises to develop your VIP “muscle” is to organize your wardrobe, and clean out the closet.Now contrary to a lot of the how to clean the closet sites, you don’t need to do it all at once, you don’t need to devote a significant block of a day’s time towards achieving this.

After all you should have better things to do on your agenda.  So you do your keep or toss closet activities in regular but short bursts.

In assessing what to use or lose, you ask yourself the following questions?

Does this item fit me?  If you have pants from days when your waistline was four inches smaller, donate them to someone who has a chance in fitting into them.  Rather optimistic to think that any time soon you will be back in that size.  Not impossible, but not very bloody likely either.

Do I even like to wear this thing?  Your answer lies in how many times in the last twelve months you put it on and walked out into the world.  If the answer is zero, donate the item.

Does this item reflect my new VIP bachelor image? Yes, keep, no, donate.  Is this item damaged beyond inexpensive repair? If yes, toss it, do not donate garbage.  How do I feel putting this on? VIP or DOA? If the former, keep, if the latter, donate.

Spend five minutes a day on this, and you will get this done in no more than a month, and probably in a lot less time.

Now donate where?

My suggestion is you donate to one of the organizations that use the clothes to benefit our veterans. Here’s one I have used

Now, check out this video clip for some inspiration to get out of the closet.

If the Shoe Fits

courtesy of Vladimir Zuñiga of Foca.tk.

One hopes by this time, it is no secret that shoes can make the difference between win and lose.  On the job, on the town, if you want to be treated like you’re the top, you have to look at the bottom…your feet.

     From personal experience, wearing the right shoes has led to circumstances where both the party of the first part (me) and the party of the second part (she) wound up wearing nothing and having one hell of a party with both of our parts.

A 2013 survey by top of the line shoemaker Allen Edmonds reveals that eighty percent of those types which hire people thought shoes worn to the interview as being “extremely important.”

     From the survey results, it appears that the majority of ladies feel that what you have on your feet reflects on what you have in your head, your resume, your bank account, and your personality.

A 2015 survey from observer.com found that the dressier the shoes, the more masculine and manly the man appeared to the woman. The more sexually experienced was also a perception. That’s probably the kind of impression you want to leave when you’re out and about looking for some company in the romance department.

amazon affiliate link, if you purchase I get a small commission, but you don’t pay more.

Thus both professionally and romantically, you have a better shot at being a VIP bachelor, if you are better shod.

Observe the game of life in these spectators

An Agonizing Reappraisal

Achtung Herr Bachelor! 

It’s time to take a look at how you dress yourself, how your place of residence looks, where you work during business hours, and where you lurk after the work day is through. What you eat, what you sleep on, who you schtup. (Or should that be whom?)

Perform a rigorous thorough self-examination, right now; (although the colonoscopy may be saved for a later date, where you can get VIP treatment at the imaging center).

Get out a piece of paper, and your fanciest pen. (No don’t use the bloody computer, or the tablet, or your cell phone, we want this to be a tactile experience for you. Do it the old fashioned way). Make friends with your pen again.

On your paper, make two vertical columns.  One is for what you like about your environment, your job, your social life, your wardrobe, vehicle, etc.  The second column is for what sucks about being you, or being around you.

Be brutally honest, because prior to a cure, we must have an accurate diagnosis.

Once you’ve done that, it’s time to take steps to unfuck you.

Baby steps; which brings us to the venerable doctrine of Kaizen. (The Japanese always have a name for it, don’t they?)  Kaizen, for the uninitiated, is Japanese for “change for better.”  It is the art of causing change by making small and regular modifications to existing circumstances, until a significant improvement over time is realized.

That’s what our intelligent would be VIP bachelor does.

Let’s take a look at your appearance.

You’ve made your two column sheet, and you have discovered that you dress for shit.  You could be the cover model for Schlump Quarterly.   You have to change yourself from schlumpy the dumpy chump to that sharp dressed man that every girl is crazy about.

One step at a time, though tiger, like the kaizen way say.

If you are not bleeding chips, you might have to start real small.  Iron your shirt, if you don’t usually.  Wear better socks.  Shave more often, or regularly trim such facial hair as you have intentionally grown. Shine your shoes regularly.

Yes, there are bachelors of all ages that seemed to have neglected these simple basic matters.  (You, yes you by the monitor, the one with the dirty wife beater and four days stubble.  I’m talking to you!)

If your pockets are full, go splurge on the beginnings of a whole new wardrobe, after you have seen examples of what sartorially is best for your physical type.

amazon affiliate link I receive a commission from your purchase, but you don’t pay more.

Here’s a great book that will help.

Obviously, besides your appearance, you use these principles for all areas of your life, so you can bring the improvements necessary to your becoming the bachelor VIP you were meant to be.

Time to get dressed.

Thrifty is Nifty

As a VIP bachelor, you are no doubt concerned with how your personal appearance defines you as a man of taste (if not wealth), and how your living quarters demonstrate your style and appreciation of comfort.

What you don’t need to be concerned with in either case, is the “need” for new, nor the rationality of paying retail—when you can do better.

Enter through the thrift shop. Where used doesn’t have to mean abused, and items you purchase don’t have to be considered a “rescue.”

But you have to be particular where you go thrift shopping.  You want to go to those shops located in or near the wealthier areas.  The one percent throws out or donates all kinds of furniture and clothing goodies.  Now it’s your turn to give them a good home.

I have scored tons of designer ties for a couple of bucks a piece, and some great leather furniture and other choice upholstered items on the cheap.  Look great, cost a fraction of new.

While you are out hunting, lookin’ for a come up, here is some music to thrift by:

The money you save will be your own.  Until next time, thrift on!