BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now isn’t that a great way to start your day? Fortunately, the warning was a mistake…a really big one. Those dwellers in tropical paradise had a bad half hour or so, when they thought that the land of pineapples would soon have a big mushroom cloud over it.
The point for bachelors was poetically put by seventeenth century writer Robert Herrick in his poem To the Virgins To Make Much of Time when he penned these lines: Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying.
So, gentlemen, smoke the good cigars, drink the premium Scotch, enjoy your existence to the max…because one never knows when one fine morning it will be your last day on earth.
This year, our enlightened VIP bachelor should learn to take advantage of all the benefits he has available to him.
Credit cards offer points which can be used in purchases towards travel and purchases, or cash back. Have you been taking advantage of them?
You should in 2018.
Memberships like AAA or AARP offer many discounts and offers not available otherwise. Have you been taking advantage of them?
You should in 2018.
Courtesy cards in places like CVS, Rite Aid or supermarket chains offer savings which can total more than hundreds of dollars a year. Have you signed up for these, and are you taking advantage of these cards?
You should in 2018.
You have various electronic devices that have, in all probability, many features that you aren’t using, and maybe even are unfamiliar with. Learn them, and make sure you are taking advantage of such additional features.
On a personal note, a bit back, I scored a beautiful dressing gown, and some fitness equipment for free. I just used accumulated points from American Express–points from purchases I had already made. I’ve received road maps for free from AAA. On other credit cards, I’ve used accumulated points to reduce a month’s bill.
Start thinking about all of the things you are not yet taking advantage of, the discounts, the privileges. Then ask yourself have you been using them?
Housekeeping/housecleaning. What bachelor really likes doing this; but it is a necessity. The VIP bachelor should live in a dwelling that reflects his class, his style, his neatness, and the fact that hidden away in some cupboard are a bunch of cleaning supplies and tools.
But, you don’t have to make it a marathon. Ten minutes a day will find you free of dust bunnies and other filthy fauna you don’t want hanging around in your bachelor pad.
Every VIP bachelor has the same amount of time every day, but the wisest of them, knows how to wring out of every little second all its potential benefit.
Consider your moments of downtime.
You are answering nature’s call in the second degree, seated as was Rodin’s The Thinker. Outside of the obvious, are you using that time to your external (as well as your internal) betterment?
Have some useful reading material by your side, and use your time on the old thunder box to bring some lightning into your life. You may study a new language, read a business book relevant to your career, or absorb some of the thoughts of the world’s greatest philosophers.
In the auto?
No texting or calling while driving, but it earns you a merit badge to put some audio book into the CD slot and start adding to your body of useful knowledge. Improve your vocabulary, learn new sales techniques, or anything else that might make you a better bachelor.
What is the alternative? Waste the time you spend expending waste? Drive yourself crazy in the boredom of bumper to bumper?
While we are in the subject of efficient use of your time, your humble blog host recommends that instead of the electronic stuff, you maintain a hard copy agenda. If you drop it, it doesn’t break, it never runs out of batteries, and can be rather stylish depending on one’s taste.
This Planner starter set features croc bonded leather, snap closure and seven-ring binder. Includes undated calendar pages, tabbed address and phone directory, lined note pads, bookmark ruler and more. There are many more to choose from, undated and dated for the new year to come. Check out the choices. A New Year coming up, get yours now.
Rituals are important to the bachelor. Perhaps you have a certain morning ritual. You have your coffee, your bagel (or more healthy equivalent), you read your paper, etc. Then off to work, or whatever you do to pay the bills.
It is a tradition, it is the formal start of your day. Rituals are a good idea, they give you structure, they can also springboard you into better habits.
What kind of new rituals can you incorporate in your day to make you a better bachelor?
If exercise is something you want to add to your lifestyle, (and you should), perhaps you might want to add that to your morning ritual. Get it out of the way before you come up with a thousand and one excuses why you can’t exercise.
It is a great way to jump start your day, as long as you don’t overdo it.
Perhaps you want to add a “Happy Hour” ritual to your day. When work is done, and it’s time for fun, why not have a signature cocktail at 5:00 PM or whatever is your equivalent of Happy Hour. It gives you something to look forward to, and it separates your work day from your personal time.
There may be a whole bunch of new habits that would improve your bachelor lifestyle. If you make them part of a ritual, the chances are greater that you will keep to those habits, and make yourself a better man.
Let’s say, for example, you want to be a better dressed bachelor. Useful for both professional and personal advancement.
You might want to have a ritual, the evening before your dress up day, where you carefully select your wardrobe for the coming morning, and you place it on a valet (preferably) or a hanger.
The other day I was talking to an acquaintance, who is a very well preserved seventy one. He is in great shape physically, but admits to occasional bouts of depression…age related.
For the senior bachelor, some adjustment to this time of life is required, but it needn’t be depressing, and if done properly, can be most enjoyable.
Of course, your relationship with much younger women is only going to be some form of pay for play, if that’s what you want. If you aren’t turned on by women in your age group, that’s understandable. We are not programmed to be attracted to wrinkles, cellulite, and sagging flesh. Don’t beat yourself up for obeying evolution.
You didn’t create it.
Speaking of sagging flesh and all, the senior bachelor might not exactly be the Tarzan he once was. What to do?
One: Exercise in an age appropriate way. One great resistance tool is the good old Bullworker.
Isometrics. Done properly, it is safe and effective. Much cheaper than gym membership, and you are less likely to mess yourself up.
Two: When out in public, dress sharp. Make sure your clothes fit, and make sure they are a cut above what the average schlump in your neighborhood is wearing. Take a look at the online offerings at Joseph A. Bank, and Paul Fredrick.
Going to the supermarket? Dress up. Most others won’t be looking good. You, however, will be admired by the better class of women feeling the melons, and the checkout clerk will be more careful with your groceries when packing.
One of the cool things about being a senior bachelor is we look good in hats. Wear one that is situation and weather appropriate. It lends a certain air of authority.
Three: Frequent age appropriate watering holes. You don’t want to be the oldest man in the crowd, you just want to be the sharpest. Piano bars are a good venue, so are the bars at the better types of restaurants.
Happy hour is the best time to go.
Four: Keep your residence looking Presidential. Neat, organized, with carefully chosen art on the walls, and the type of furniture that spells out class.
Work on all of the above, and not only will you be kept busy, you’ll feel better, look better, and be happy with your stage of bachelor living.
When you can combine food dollar savings with savory food with little preparation effort, you have come upon the formula for VIP bachelor culinary happiness. The equation for this formula is the slow cooker, or often times referred to by one of the brand names as the “crock pot.”
Using the slow cooker can be as simple as “set it and forget it,” but for meals involving meats, you are often going to have to brown the meats prior to putting them in the pot. (Newer slow cookers feature the ability to brown meat with the same cooker.)
It is convenient to throw the evening’s dinner in the slow cooker prior to leaving for work in the morning, (or whatever it is you do to occupy your daytime), and then coming home to a meal that is not only already cooked for you, but quite often retains and marries the various flavors of the ingredients better than would other methods of cooking.
Plus clean up is simple and quick. (Especially if you spray the cooking pot with a cooking spray, or wipe it with cooking oil, prior to placing the ingredients inside–which you pretty much should do every time).
Slow cooker recipes abound for free on the internet. Try here
One of the benefits of being a VIP, (bachelor or otherwise) is you don’t have to wait in long lines with the rest of the civilians.
Now this is a subject we will visit frequently, with specific methods, but in general, the VIP bachelor must arrange his errands and his entertainment so that he does not wait in line, or if he must, he doesn’t do it for long, and he does it in comfort.
Dealing with the DMV? Much of what you need can be done online, in front of your home or office computer. Always check your local DMV website to see if what you need to do can be done electronically.
Traveling? Want to wait less than five minutes in line when dealing with the TSA geniuses? Sign up for TSA Pre Check. According to TSA, in November 2016, 96% of the passengers with Pre Check waited less than five minutes.
Are you traveling internationally and want to spend less time in immigration and custom lines? Go Global Entry for expedited clearance at the airports. Here is where you start the process of being approved: Global Entry
Now for those times you must spend time in line, instead of uncomfortably standing, why not sit it out like a VIP. Use a portable folding seat.
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That’s it for this installment. There will be more line dancing postings in the future. Wait for them, but not in line.