Wealthy VIPs have bodyguards. The more financially challenged among us have to do with protecting ourselves.
Guns are great, if you are properly licensed to carry one and are properly trained; which in some jurisdictions…lot’s of luck.
Knives are good, but depending upon your jurisdiction, the type and/or length of the knife might find you living temporarily in the kind of gated community you don’t want to brag about.
So what’s left? How about a tactical pen?
It writes, if fights, and can get you out of a situation that’s tight. This would likely be legal in a majority of jurisdictions, but consult your local lawyer to be sure, before buying and carrying a tactical pen.
One of the traits of a VIP is they don’t waste time. They dwell in a neat and organized environment that enhances their lifestyle.
One of the exercises to develop your VIP “muscle” is to organize your wardrobe, and clean out the closet.Now contrary to a lot of the how to clean the closet sites, you don’t need to do it all at once, you don’t need to devote a significant block of a day’s time towards achieving this.
After all you should have better things to do on your agenda. So you do your keep or toss closet activities in regular but short bursts.
In assessing what to use or lose, you ask yourself the following questions?
Does this item fit me? If you have pants from days when your waistline was four inches smaller, donate them to someone who has a chance in fitting into them. Rather optimistic to think that any time soon you will be back in that size. Not impossible, but not very bloody likely either.
Do I even like to wear this thing? Your answer lies in how many times in the last twelve months you put it on and walked out into the world. If the answer is zero, donate the item.
Does this item reflect my new VIP bachelor image? Yes, keep, no, donate. Is this item damaged beyond inexpensive repair? If yes, toss it, do not donate garbage. How do I feel putting this on? VIP or DOA? If the former, keep, if the latter, donate.
Spend five minutes a day on this, and you will get this done in no more than a month, and probably in a lot less time.
Now donate where?
My suggestion is you donate to one of the organizations that use the clothes to benefit our veterans. Here’s one I have used
One of the finer bachelor things in life is a rock glass filled with bourbon and ice. The liquid’s color, the aroma, the taste, and of course the wonderful psychological effect of drinking sufficient (or more than sufficient) quantities of this nectar of the corn gods is a consummation devoutly to be wished.
Maybe it would be better phrased, “a consuming devoutly to be wished,” because that’s what it’s for…drinking.
Now, as with all other things, pleasurable or otherwise, there is a law that controls bourbon. Since you’re all dying to know what that might be, let’s take a gander at the Code of Federal Regulations at 27 CFR 5.22 (b)(1)(i) :
“Bourbon whisky is whisky produced not exceeding 160° proof from a fermented mash of not less than 51 percent corn and stored at not more than 125° proof in charred new oak containers.”
It has to be made in the US but not necessarily Kentucky, (although most is, and certain types of bourbon must be made there). It cannot contain any additives.
So now that we’ve taken care of the fine print, here is one recommendation for bourbon that you just might like to sip on, BUFFALO TRACE
It tastes of caramel, vanilla, with a trace of mint in the aftertaste, smooth as silk; a bourbon to make a bachelor a mellow fellow. Sounds like sixties’ print ad copy, but your humble servant at this blog means what he says. I drink it, and you might want to try it.
One of the traditional pleasures of both the VIP and the bachelor is the indulgence in fine tobaccos, whether in cigars or pipes. But, governments being what they are, voracious consumers of consumer taxes and legislators of morality for the majority, seek to make such individual pleasures both a source of bureaucratic revenue and personal remorse for those who indulge.
Depending upon where you live, your purchase of fine pipe tobaccos and/or cigars can come at an outrageous price with the addition of tobacco taxes and restrictions on even outdoor smoking.
While there isn’t much you can do to fight legislation governing where you can smoke, you can at least indulge at reasonable prices by purchasing your tobacco of choice from reputable dealers on the internet. Try the boys from North Carolina or Pennsylvania. J&R, Pipes and Cigars, Cigars International.
In the ninth bachelor commandment written in the manifesto we read:
THOU SHALT FURTHER THY EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE TO KEEP THY LIFE INTERESTING.
Now, regardless of how much education you have enjoyed…or suffered through, you could always use more, especially when college courses come from major universities, and you can get them for free (if you are not looking for credit, or a piece of paper to hang on your wall).
There are hundreds of subject areas to choose from, practical, philosophical, historical, artistic, and a hell of a lot more. So, without further ado, mosey on over to
It’s time to take a look at how you dress yourself, how your place of residence looks, where you work during business hours, and where you lurk after the work day is through. What you eat, what you sleep on, who you schtup. (Or should that be whom?)
Perform a rigorous thorough self-examination, right now; (although the colonoscopy may be saved for a later date, where you can get VIP treatment at the imaging center).
Get out a piece of paper, and your fanciest pen. (No don’t use the bloody computer, or the tablet, or your cell phone, we want this to be a tactile experience for you. Do it the old fashioned way). Make friends with your pen again.
On your paper, make two vertical columns. One is for what you like about your environment, your job, your social life, your wardrobe, vehicle, etc. The second column is for what sucks about being you, or being around you.
Be brutally honest, because prior to a cure, we must have an accurate diagnosis.
Once you’ve done that, it’s time to take steps to unfuck you.
Baby steps; which brings us to the venerable doctrine of Kaizen. (The Japanese always have a name for it, don’t they?) Kaizen, for the uninitiated, is Japanese for “change for better.” It is the art of causing change by making small and regular modifications to existing circumstances, until a significant improvement over time is realized.
That’s what our intelligent would be VIP bachelor does.
Let’s take a look at your appearance.
You’ve made your two column sheet, and you have discovered that you dress for shit. You could be the cover model for Schlump Quarterly. You have to change yourself from schlumpy the dumpy chump to that sharp dressed man that every girl is crazy about.
One step at a time, though tiger, like the kaizen way say.
If you are not bleeding chips, you might have to start real small. Iron your shirt, if you don’t usually. Wear better socks. Shave more often, or regularly trim such facial hair as you have intentionally grown. Shine your shoes regularly.
Yes, there are bachelors of all ages that seemed to have neglected these simple basic matters. (You, yes you by the monitor, the one with the dirty wife beater and four days stubble. I’m talking to you!)
If your pockets are full, go splurge on the beginnings of a whole new wardrobe, after you have seen examples of what sartorially is best for your physical type.
We are going to use Bond as an example for VIP bachelors in forthcoming articles, so stay tuned.
Note: portions of this article are reprinted from an article of mine that appeared on a James Bond Lifestyle website. Above links are amazon affiliate links, if you purchase, I receive a small commission, your price does not change.
As a VIP bachelor, you are no doubt concerned with how your personal appearance defines you as a man of taste (if not wealth), and how your living quarters demonstrate your style and appreciation of comfort.
What you don’t need to be concerned with in either case, is the “need” for new, nor the rationality of paying retail—when you can do better.
Enter through the thrift shop. Where used doesn’t have to mean abused, and items you purchase don’t have to be considered a “rescue.”
But you have to be particular where you go thrift shopping. You want to go to those shops located in or near the wealthier areas. The one percent throws out or donates all kinds of furniture and clothing goodies. Now it’s your turn to give them a good home.
I have scored tons of designer ties for a couple of bucks a piece, and some great leather furniture and other choice upholstered items on the cheap. Look great, cost a fraction of new.