The other day I was talking to an acquaintance, who is a very well preserved seventy one. He is in great shape physically, but admits to occasional bouts of depression…age related.
For the senior bachelor, some adjustment to this time of life is required, but it needn’t be depressing, and if done properly, can be most enjoyable.
Of course, you relationship with much younger women is only going to be some form of pay for play, if that’s what you want. If you aren’t turned on by women in your age group, that’s understandable. We are not programmed to be attracted to wrinkles, cellulite, and sagging flesh. Don’t beat yourself up for obeying evolution.
You didn’t create it.
Speaking of sagging flesh and all, the senior bachelor might not exactly be the Tarzan he once was. What to do?
One: Exercise in an age appropriate way. One great resistance tool is the good old Bullworker.
Isometrics. Done properly, it is safe and effective. Much cheaper than gym membership, and you are less likely to mess yourself up.
Two: When out in public, dress sharp. Make sure your clothes fit, and make sure they are a cut above what the average schlump in your neighborhood is wearing. Take a look at the online offerings at Joseph A. Bank, and Paul Fredrick.
Going to the supermarket? Dress up. Most others won’t be looking good. You, however, will be admired by the better class of women feeling the melons, and the checkout clerk will be more careful with your groceries when packing.
One of the cool things about being a senior bachelor is we look good in hats. Wear one that is situation and weather appropriate. It lends a certain air of authority.
Three: Frequent age appropriate watering holes. You don’t want to be the oldest man in the crowd, you just want to be the sharpest. Piano bars are a good venue, so are the bars at the better types of restaurants.
Happy hour is the best time to go.
Four: Keep your residence looking Presidential. Neat, organized, with carefully chosen art on the walls, and the type of furniture that spells out class.
Work on all of the above, and not only will you be kept busy, you’ll feel better, look better, and be happy with your stage of bachelor living.
One of the must haves for a bachelor pad is a great television, one with sufficient bells and whistles. Now there are many brands out there to purchase, but I will respectfully suggest you explore the LG line of smart TVs.
I’m still enjoying mine, purchased in 2012, and the color and clarity are great, access to apps which are still supported in a TV of this age is a snap. (Youtube app is no more on 2012 and older TVs, but I access that through my younger wi-fi Samsung blue ray dvd player).
Here’s a post that I first wrote for jamesbondlifestyle.com which is a site I recommend you visit,(after you visit this one of course). It deals with some lifestyle advice that is tailor made for the bachelor. It was part of a series called THE BOND BRAIN, which looked at several of the novels, and extracted words to live by. Enjoy!
We continue with the Bond Brain as evidenced by quotes from the Fleming novels. In this installment, we not only quote 007, but the late and lamented Darko Kerim, the Brit’s man in Istanbul in From Russia With Love.
Let’s start with an enlightening quote from Darko. In speaking with Bond, Darko confesses “I am greedy for life. I do too much of everything all the time.”
Words to live by if you are not too old, but if you live by them for too long, you will never get to be too old. Don’t worry, most of you reading this have plenty of too much time left.
Sooner or later one realizes that the only thing we have at the end of life’s journey, besides a terminal condition that will kill us, is our memory of life. What we did, what we didn’t, what we are grateful for, what we regret.
You want to max out on what you did and what you are grateful for. You want to minimize the regrets of what you never did.
In order to do that, you have to follow Kerim’s sage advice. Know what it is like to over drink, over smoke, over…well you can figure that one out. Don’t do it all the time of course, but don’t always limit your excess to moderation.
While you’re drooling on your shoes in the nursing home, you want to be able to wax nostalgic about the time you had the fifteen hookers and a kilogram of marmalade at that seedy Copenhagen railroad hotel. You want a smile on your face as you reminisce about the two quarts of Japanese Whiskey you drank while pissing in the streets of the Ginza.
As a sage once said, nothing succeeds like excess.
Speaking of regrets, let’s quote Bond here. “Never job backwards. What might have been was a waste of time.”
Words also to live by. So you never wrote the great Armenian novel, you never climbed the big rock candy mountain. So what? Focus on what you have done, your triumphs, your more interesting tragedies. Follow Kerim’s advice, and you won’t have much need to listen to Bond’s above thought.
Here’s another one from James. “Now from months of idleness and disuse the sword was rusty in the scabbard and Bond’s mental guard was down.”
Now, the obvious symbolism of the above we will leave to those whose sex life is intimately connected with audio visual equipment. But the old saw about how a rut is just a shallow grave is true. Routines and routine thinking can leave you rusty, and if we listen to Kerim, we know it’s better to burn out than rust.
Examine what you have been doing, thinking. Is it just the same old same old, or is there a bit of innovation of improvement each day of your life? There should be if you are living the James Bond Lifestyle, (which is the ultimate bachelor lifestyle).
Follow the above advice, and nobody will be asking you “What lunatic asylum did they let you out of?” (As Bond said to Grant in the movie).
Steve McQueen, the king of cool, plays the rich playboy bachelor with a taste for bank robbery, and Faye Dunaway plays the insurance investigator out to get him. Their cat and mouse game turns them into lovers, but she still is out to get her man, and not in a matrimonial way.
This is the version to see. The 1999 version with Pierce Brosnan and a rather ugly woman as the insurance investigator, does not rate, IMHO.
Bachelors lead less complicated lives than married people. No need to hand over the remote, no need to argue about restaurants, no alimony payments when you are tired of handing over the remote and arguing about restaurants.
It’s a good idea to keep things simple, to eliminate the useless in your life, and to prune your existence of that which does not benefit you.